Think Groucho Stork

So apparently my pickles are a hit. Yes, the verdict is now in from individuals who are not dependant upon me for all their food needs and I am guilty of good pickling. A definite improvement over last year. The casualties of that war are still sitting on the shelf in the basement. They are like organs in a lab. Discolored and useless, yet oddly fascinating. They were mushy and nasty and now I don't know what to do with them. Do I throw them in the compost and risk bad pickly vibes being passed on to next years crop? I screwed those up since it was both my first time gardening and pickling. You really must pace yourself with these things.
First, you have got to use pickling cucumbers. Then you can not give in to the temptation to let them grow until they are all phallic. Smaller ones remain firmer. I have been saying THAT for years. Then you have to get a good recipe. This year, I opted for a refrigerator pickling process. Upside, I didn't have to fire up the water bath canner which I think might have helped make last years' batch so very raw-hot-dogesque. Downside, the majority of my fridge is taken up by quarts of pickles and I am beginning to feel like I live at Katz' s Deli. Every time I go to get the milk I expect to find some guy in an apron asking me if I want rye or pumpernickel.
You don't have to know how to can to make these. So if you can get your hands on some little cukes you might want to give it a whirl. I use quart canning jars, but you could use any size container and adjust the recipe accordingly.

Refrigerator Pickles (Dill)                                               

In each jar:

2 sprigs of fresh dill

2 cloves of garlic, peeled

1 tbl. mixed pickling spices (found in the spice aisle)
1 bay leaf

Combine in saucepan:
1 cup white vinegar
8 cups water
1/4 cup pickling salt (usually near canning supplies or spices)

pickling cucumbers

Put the dill, garlic, pickling spices and bay leaf in the bottom of each jar. Fill the remaining space with cucumbers. Leave small ones whole and cut larger ones into spears.
Combine the vinegar, water, and pickling salt in a saucepan, bring to a boil, and cool.
Pour the liquid mixture into each jar so that the cucumbers are covered. If you run out of liquid just mix up another batch or half-batch. Put a cover on each jar and refrigerate for about three days before eating. Flavor will get stronger over time. Pickles should last about 3-4 weeks. Keep refrigerated.
I have now pawned off enough picks to get a good read and I think I'm in business. Next year I'll grow the dill and garlic and then I can get really freaky with it. Like some people have a whole extra fridge for beer, maybe I'll have one for pickles. Sweet! No seriously they are dill, though. Sweet pickles are an abomination. But that's another post.